When They Met
by InvaderPixy
Summary: I've read so many "When Dib and Nny Met" or "Zim meets Johnny" that it started an inside idea. What if ALL Jhonen's characters ending up meeting in one way or another? Tee hee!
1. A New Town

I've seen many fics about Zim and Johnny meeting, and I had an idea. What would happen if ALL Jhonen's creations met? The only exception is characters from the Bad Art Collection, as I do not own it yet and I have no clue what it's about, either.  
  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the characters in this story.  
  
When They Met  
Chapter One  
  
-Squee-  
  
In a big, white building with white, padded walls, a little boy named Todd was sleeping, curled up in a little ball, holding on to the remains of his stuffed bear Shmee for dear life. He was thought to be insane, although, truth be told, he was just exposed to more reality then possibly anyone else on earth. Suddenly, his door burst open, rousing him from his deep sleep.  
"Todd!" A man in a white coat called. "You're parents are here! You're going home!"  
Todd blinked a couple of times before he was awake enough to digest the words. "Mommy and Daddy are here?" He asked, eyes wide. "They want my home?"  
"Yeah. Pack you're stuff. You're heading home, little fella."  
"Yay!" Todd cried and jumped off the bed. He thought for a minute. "Wait . . . I don't have any stuff with me. Just. . . ." he held up the ball of fluff that was Shmee.  
"Well then, let's get going, shall we?" The man said and took Todd's hand. Todd closed his fingers around the man's hand and tightened his hold on Shmee with his other hand. They walked around the twisty halls for a while, until they got to a big room filled with chairs. Sitting in two where Todd's parents.  
"Todd!" His father called and gave him a hug. "How we've missed you."  
"Yes, Todd," his mother agreed, walking over as well. "It's time we all went back home."   
Todd sat down on a chair, holding Shmee tight to his chest while the adults talked about things that he didn't understand. After awhile, he left, holding Daddy's hand. Once they got in the car, his daddy turned around in his seat and explained the strange behavior.  
"Now, Squee," his dad started, calling him by his old, half-forgotten nickname, "it cost us quite a bit to keep you in there. It seems the government doesn't help unless your LEGALLY insane, which you are not. So, in order to be able to eat, we had to take you back home."  
"Yeah, Squee," his mother put in, "your one expensive individual. We even had to get a smaller house 'cause of you!"  
"We're moving?!" Todd asked, excited.  
"Close. We ALREADY moved. We're taking you there now. Hope you don't care, 'cause we're never going back."  
Todd was silent for a few minutes. Then he cried, "YYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!"  
The rest of the car drive was silence, Todd in the backseat excited as one could be about the new life he was driving to.  
  
-Dib-  
  
Dib was sitting on the steps outside school with his sister. School had just ended, and Dib was waiting for Zim so he could unnerve Zim somehow when he spotted a younger kid getting pushed by an older one. He turned to Gaz, his sister. "Wonder who that kid is," he said.  
Gaz shrugged, not paying much attention. She was playing her Game Slave 2, as always.  
"He looks new. Probably just moved her. Poor little guy." A grunt from his sister. "He reminds me of me when I was his age. I'm going to go help him." Dib jumped off the steps and ambled over to the boy, who was clutching a ball of fluff.  
He walked right up to the bully. "Leave that kid alone," he said, in his toughest voice.  
"Why should I?" the bully asked.  
Dib took out a stun gun he had ordered and stun the boy in the little piggy toe. The boy screamed, and ran off before he got any more bodily injuries. Dib put the stun gun back in his pocket and turned to the little kid standing, wide-eyed, next to him. "Hey," Dib said, really cool like and all.  
The kid made a little terrified sound. It was a "Squee!" noise, kind of like a pig.  
Dib blinked. "Uh . . . what's your name?"  
"Squee," the kid said, more like a word this time instead of a sound.  
"Your name is SQUEE?"  
"Well, it's Todd, but people call me Squee," he said, quietly.  
"Well then, my name is Dib. Are you new to our school, Squee?"  
"Yes, I just moved here," he sat down on the ground, and Dib sat next to him. "The kids are just as mean here as they were back home. But at least the creepy neighbor man doesn't live near me anymore."  
Dib felt a pain of sorrow go through his body. Poor kid. Squee reminded Dib of himself when he was younger. Squee hugged the ball of fluff, and said, "Shmee says you're a good person. That's good. I think you're nice."  
"Who's Shmee?" Dib asked, curious.  
"He's my teddy bear. Well, he WAS my teddy bear, until the aliens ripped him apart."  
"They aliens did what now?!" Dib asked, furious, standing up. Squee got visibly scared.  
"The - the aliens," he stammered, "they took me on their sp-spaceship and did sp-spooky things to my head. They took Shmee and r-ripped him up be-before they g-got me."  
A flicker of hate went through Dib's eyes. "Which ones?!" He asked. "Which sorry aliens hurt a poor little boy and destroyed his teddy bear? Was it the Irkens?!"  
"I-I don't know. They had funny eyes. . . ."  
Dib looked thoughtful. "I'll look it up online," he finally said, then sat down. "So, you believe in aliens, too, Squee?"  
He nodded. "Shmee does, too. 'Cause we've seen 'em. They come for me in the night. One time they took my parents."  
Dib's eyes narrowed. "The ones with funny eyes?"  
"No. These ones had floaty chairs."  
"I'll go after them next."  
The younger kid seemed to shrink away, shrink into himself and become smaller then he already was. Dib leaned closer.  
"Are you okay?"  
"You're scaring me," he said, barely audible.  
"I'm scaring you? How?"  
"I don't like hurting things. Even things that hurt me before."  
Dib's look softened. The poor little kid knew reality, and, as much as reality scared him, instead of embracing it with open arms (but with a knife hidden in each hand), he kept his hands over his head, trying to protect himself without any violence directed in anyone else's direction.  
"Shmee tells me to use fire. But I don't like fire. Unless it's in a fireplace and I'm toasting marshmallows over it. But I haven't done that sense my parents got taken away by aliens. They're back now, and I don't toast marshmallows. They don't like me near fire." Dib blinked. "Mmyep. . . ."  
"Well, anyway, Squee, next time that kid tries to hurt you, come to me." Dib saw Zim leave the building out of the corner of his eye. "Right now I have something to do."  
"Mommy and Daddy told me that if I'm not home by six, they could legally consider me dead, whatever that means."  
"How could they legally call you dead if your not home by six?"  
Squee shrugged. Dib figured it was an empty threat, and a weird one at that. "Anyway, I gotta go home before I guess Daddy comes out with his gun and shoots me. That would make me legally dead, right? He bought that gun after the aliens did stuff to his butt. It beeps now."  
Dib blinked. He would kill Zim for letting the Irkens do that to Squee's family! "Okay, Squee, see ya later."  
"Buh-bye." The smaller boy sent off walking home. Dib slunk over to Zim.  
When he got in the shadows right behind Zim, he burst out. "Afternoon, Zim. How are you today?"  
  
-Zim-  
  
"END THIS DECEPTION!" Zim cried, and ran away screaming. Dib smiled, nodded, and looked around for his sister. She had already left without him. Dib set off on his way home.  
Meanwhile, Zim was still running for dear life. Finally, he made it to his house.  
"Welcome home, son," his "parents" greeted him. Zim ignored them, as usual, and walked over to Gir, who was watching TV.  
"Gir!" he barked.  
Gir's eyes turned red and narrowed. He saluted Zim. "Yes, sir!"  
"What are you doing?"  
Gir's eyes went back to blue. "Scary Monkey!" He yelled with glee. Then something about the growling monkey captured his undying attention and Gir focused on the television, not listening to Zim, who was rambling about some kind of experiment he wanted Gir to watch for him. When it became apparent that Gir was not paying attention, Zim gave up and went into the kitchen.  
He opened the refrigerator and let out a blood-curdling scream.  
Gir, uninterested by the commercials now on the television, yelled from the living room "What is it sir?!"  
Zim was on the ground sobbing. He found breath enough to scream back "WE'RE OUT OF JELL-O!"  
Gir started wailing with Zim, only until the show came back on, where he abruptly stopped to giggle at the monkey.  
After about fifteen minutes, Zim stood up and walked into the living room. "I am off to the grocery store," he told Gir. "We are in desperate need of Jell-O. If I am not back in an hour, assume I am dead."  
"Okie-dokie!"  
With that, Zim ran out of the house and down the street, anxious for the Jell-O. He ran all the way to the grocery store, all the way to the Jell-O aisle. He stopped here, to pick out a mashed potato flavored Jell-O, then ran to the checkout. When he saw the amazingly long lines, he let out a dry sob, then got in the shortest one. He waited for a mind-numbing amount of Jell-O-free time before it was his turn. He lovingly handed the Jell-O to the cashier, not trusting the "moving, black thing". The cashier gave him an odd look, then rung it up.  
"Wanna bag?" she asked him, sneering.  
"Yes," Zim said, eyes wide. "Yes I do."  
The cashier, who wore a nametag that said Tina, tossed the Jell-O to the bag boy, who wore a nametag that said A.J. on it. Zim, horrified, started screaming at the cashier.  
"DO NOT THROW THE JELL-O!" he yelled. "THE JELL-O IS WORTH MORE THEN YOUR LIFE, MORE THEN YOU'RE ENTIRE FAMILY! IT IS WORTH MORE THEN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE TO ME! YOU DO NOT THROW SUCH PRECIOUS OBJECTS!"  
Tina and A.J. stared at him. A.J. bagged the Jell-O.  
"Good job," Tina said, to A.J., smirking. "That's one that you won't be able to mess up."  
"Shut up," A.J. said to her. "Bagging stuff is harder then it looks."  
"I guess that's why you needed training for it."  
"WHY ARE YOU NOT APOLOGIZING FOR ALMOST GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK?!" Zim yelled.  
Tina gave him a blank look. "That comes to two-fifty."  
Zim's eyes narrowed. "Two-fifty WHAT, exactly?"  
"Two dollars and fifty cents?" Tina said, looking at him like he was from another planet (oh, the poor, oblivious human).  
"Oh, yes. I see now." Zim said, trying not to look like an idiot. He grabbed the bag. "Thank you." He started walking out.  
"You have to pay, moron!" A.J. yelled.  
"I AM NOT AN IDIOT! I AM A SUPERIOR BEING!" Zim screamed.  
"Stop him! I am too cheap to loose two dollars and fifty cents!" Tina yelled, and A.J. started running after Zim. Zim, being the smart cookie that he is, figured out something was wrong and started running, also, to escape the wrath of A.J.  
He ran out of the store, down the street, and smack into something very solid. Zim fell down with an "oof" sound. Shaking his head, he started to get up. "Why don't you watch where you're going, Earthinoid?" He asked and looked up into the person's face that he crashed into.  
WAY up.  
The man who Zim crashed into glared down at the little Irken. He had odd hair. "You," he said, "will probably live to regret saying that. Apologize now, and maybe I will forgive you."  
"I never apologize," Zim said, and, seeing A.J. behind him, started running off again when the person grabbed him and shoved Zim into the sack he was carrying.  
"LET ME OUT!" Zim called, but he got no response. "Great," he mumbled. "Of all Earth-people to run into, I have to get the one carrying the bag." Something jabbed into him, and Zim felt a stab of pain. He put his head between his legs and tried to forget about what was happening.  
After quite awhile of walking, the bag was thrown on the ground and Zim was pulled out. Legs aching, he tried to walk. He took a few steps before he was shoved inside a small cage and put into a room with three other inhabitants. The person he crashed into was hidden by darkness, little more then a shadow. Then, all of a sudden, he wasn't there anymore. Zim was strongly reminded of Miss Bitters.  
He looked around the room he was in. It was defiantly a basement, for it had no windows and only one door, which had a sign on it that read, "Please knock for service. If you're hands are not still attached, just bang head here." and had a target under that.  
"Great," Zim thought. "First of all, if I'm not back soon, Gir will consider me dead. Second of all, I'm stuck in somebody's house, and you can bet they're not too sane. Third of all, I am STILL Jell-O-less. Can this day get ANY worse?"  
  
-Johnny-  
  
"Can this week get any worse?" Johnny thought, walking upstairs. First, he found out that his little neighbor, Squee, moved. Using his "sources" he found out that Squee had moved to the town he was in right now. Again, using the "sources" he had, he bought a big house very cheap. Then, he had to move. But before he moved, Johnny had gone to Devi's house.  
Johnny sat on the couch and thought about the trip to Devi's. He had gone right up to the door, not scared in the slightest, thinking she would HAVE to forgive him by now!  
When Devi opened the door, her eyes clouded with hate. Johnny got a bit nervous then.  
"H-hi Devi," he said.  
"Johnny. What do you want? Are you back to finish me off this time?"  
"I'm really sorry about that Devi. I didn't mean to. The doughboys told me to and . . . well . . . I'm not a slave to them anymore. I am my own person. And I am leaving. I wanted to give you my new address and telephone number. I really miss you, and hope you find it in your heart to call me." He gave her a piece of paper. "I think we had something special, Devi. I really do."  
And he watched her rip the piece of paper in half right in front of him. And with that paper, his heart ripped in half. Devi slammed the door, and Johnny walked home.  
On top of that, when he got to his new house, he couldn't find Squee! And THEN this little green dude slams into him, almost knocking him down, and then blames JOHNNY! Well, Johnny was at his wit's end. He already had taken three other people who pissed him off and put them in the basement, now the green guy joined them.  
Old habits die hard.  
As much as Johnny wanted to get away from the whole torture and killing thing, he couldn't. It was so hard, when he knew that he could. Not only drugs, alcohol and cigarettes were addictive. Killing and torture was, too. The knowledge that no one could anger Johnny and live to tell the tale was tempting. Temptation ruled Johnny's life. The temptation to kill. But at least he knew it was wrong.  
Johnny stood in front of the giant living room window in his new house. He knew Squee lived on this street. When he killed the city worker and looked into Squee's families file on the computer, he saw this street listed as a new address. But where was the cute little guy? He certainly wasn't home. It was a school day. Squee should be walking home by this time . . .  
There! Right there! He was coming down the street right now! Johnny ran outside of his house. "Squee!" he screamed.  
Squee looked around. Once he caught sight of Johnny, he gasped, eyes bugging out. Johnny walked over to him, grinning.  
"It's great to see you again, Squee! I've been very scared for you. When I found out you were moving, I decided to follow!" Squee didn't say a word, he just kept looking at Johnny, obviously wondering if he was real of not.  
Johnny looked him over, noticing something was different, but not sure what was missing. Finally, he figured out what it was. "Where's Shmee?" he asked.  
Squee reached a shaking hand into his pocket and brought out a ball of fluff.  
"What happened to him?"  
"Aliens," Squee whispered.  
Aliens! Johnny was shocked. Aliens! That explained why that guy in his basement was green!  
"Where the aliens green?" Johnny asked, hardly able to contain his excitement. If the alien in his basement ripped up Shmee, he could avenge the destruction of Squee's little friend. Johnny often thought of Squee like his own son. After all, didn't Johnny raise him more then Squee's own parents did?  
"Yeah. . . ." Squee said. "I gotta get home." He stared edging away.  
"Wait!" Johnny said. "I think I have the alien that ripped Shmee in my basement! Want to go check?" Before Squee could utter the "No," that was on his lips, Johnny pulled him into his new house and down to the basement.  
There was Zim, sitting in his cage, glaring at the other occupants of the basement. Johnny pointed at him. "Is that the alien?!"  
Squee looked at Zim. "You go to my school," he finally said. "I saw Dib looking at you before I left."  
"Dib?" Johnny asked. "Who's Dib?"  
"My new friend," Squee replied.  
Johnny looked at Zim. "You're friends with Squee's friend Dib?"  
Zim glared at him. "Do not mention the Dib-human's name in front of me."  
"So you're not friends? Too bad, I was going to let you go."  
Zim eyes lit up. "What do you mean, not friends? I was kidding. Dib's my very bestest friend."  
Johnny turned to Squee. "Now, this is NOT the alien who ripped up Shmee?"  
Squee shook his little, Squee-sized head.  
"Well then, strangle little alien, you can go. Just as long as you don't tell anyone about what happened here."  
"Got it, Earth thing. I won't talk if you won't talk."  
"Talk about what?"  
"Me being an alien. Now . . . what are Earth's weaknesses? If you tell me that, I won't tell a soul about you."  
Johnny grinned. "Earth's main weakness is its reliance on normalcy. Most people on Earth are all the same, and all they do is make fun of others differences. Perfection is the number one thing everybody wants to achieve, and most think perfection is having the biggest thing or the biggest boobs. Girls are getting implants and wonder bras. Boys are all doing their hair the same exact way! All flipped up in the front! And it's so ugly! Why can't they see?! Everyone aspires to be the most popular, to have the most friends. Nobody enjoys their privacy anymore. Nobody notices that they're not in high school anymore, that having cliques are a thing of the past. Everybody STILL regards me as the skinny freak, and I am STILL never ceasing to be the topic of discussion! Only this time, all I have to do is walk past a coffee shop! Before, I at least had to BE 'weird' in order to loose people's respect. Now, I only have to LOOK 'weird'! If you want to destroy Earth, don't bother. Earth is already almost to the point of destruction on its own. We don't need aliens to help us out."  
There was a bit of silence. After a moment, Squee spoke up.  
"Pepito said that the end is near. He read it in his father's suitcase. He's the anti-Christ," Squee explained, reading their confused faces.  
"Oh. I've met Satan before. He's a prick." Johnny said.  
"How did YOU meet Satan? He moved here only after you left." Squee asked.  
"I went to hell, of course."  
There was more awkward silence. "I should go home before Daddy kills me," Squee said.  
"I should go home before Gir considers me dead," Zim said.  
"I should make you both go home before I do something stupid like try and kill you, like I did Devi."  
Squee's eyes went round. "Bye," he said, and ran out of the house. Zim didn't say a word; he just climbed up the steps and walked out the door, heading home.  
Johnny sighed. He was alone again.  
  
-Devi-  
  
"Oh, God, what is happening to me?" Devi thought. She held the two pieces of paper in her hands. She fit them together and could make out everything perfectly. "The man tried to kill me!" Yet she felt herself write down the number on a pad of paper so she could read it without trying hard. She felt herself reach for the phone. She felt herself dial the number. She felt herself ask if the voice on the phone was Johnny.  
And she did nothing to stop herself.  
"Yes, this is Johnny," the voice said. "Who's this?"  
"Devi," she said. She heard some loud noise, like he dropped the phone. After a few seconds, he spoke again.  
"Sorry about that. Is it really you, Devi? Do you forgive me?"  
"I want you to explain yourself. Then, maybe, I'll forgive you. What's this about a doughboy?"  
And so Johnny explained to Devi his insane, twisted life. "Well, I moved into this house that had way too many basements with all these torture devices in them. At first, I figured I'd get rid of them when I found the time. But then I bought a use doughboy that advertised the product. I gave him a nice paint job . . . and decided he was lonely. So I got another and did the same. Then . . . I got the ideas in my head. I took people who made fun of me and strung them up to the devices and killed them. I did this for many more years then I care to think about.   
"After I tried to kill you, I woke up and found out the doughboys were controlling me. By the time, they had started talking outright instead of sending me messages through my head. The only thing that helped me was Nailbunny, who was a rabbit I bought after I got the doughboys. I fed Nailbunny once, got bored, then nailed him to a wall." Devi cringed. "Nailbunny then started to talk to me, being the lone voice of reason.   
"Finally, I discovered something. There was this one wall in my house, see, that SOMETHING lived behind. I wasn't sure what, and I didn't really WANT to know what, but it was there all the same. The only way to keep it from breaking out of the wall was to keep the wall with a fresh coat CONSTANTLY."  
"A fresh coat of WHAT, exactly?"  
Johnny sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't ask. A coat of blood."  
Devi felt her stomach turn. She figured that was the answer, but had hoped it wasn't all the same.  
"Anyway, after I tried to kill you, I got fed up and decided to rebel against the wall. Most people would think it would kill me, but if it did, it would be better for me to die. Besides, I doubted that the wall would dare to kill me. I think whatever was on the other side of that wall kept me immortal. I couldn't get caught or die. No matter how hard I tried, I would not die. After awhile, the thing in the wall did indeed escape. By the time, the doughboys could walk around on their own. It became apparent to me that whatever was in the wall was controlling them, and that was how they could move and talk. There was a girl I was keeping at that time . . . her name was Tess. I felt horrible having her down there, the only reason she was there was because her boyfriend was a dick. I was planning on letting her go, but she managed to escape with this other guy. This was around the time you called me." Devi was silent. How could he know?  
"Yes, I know you called. Who else WOULD call me? I had hooked up a robotic arm with a gun in the hand to the phone. It would go off whenever I talked into the phone. When I said 'Hello?' when you called me, it went off, hitting my in the eye. Tess and that guy came over to me about the time, and he tried to make my death swifter, trying to get back at me. I found that rather stupid, as he was just ending my pain. Anyway, the . . . thing . . . came out of the wall and . . . I died. It destroyed the doughboys, though. I went to heaven . . . I went to hell . . . I belonged nowhere, so I was given my life back. When I woke up, I found a Bob's Burger Boy sitting next to me. He told me I was a slave to him now, so I buried him in the backyard before I moved. I am a slave to nothing anymore. I am me. You are you. And I hope its possible for there to be an 'us'."  
Devi was silent. She wasn't sure if she believed everything Johnny just told her. In fact, she was sure most of it was pure bullshit. But it was so odd that she couldn't help but wonder . . . yet the overwhelming doubt overruled her curiosity. "Fuck you, Johnny," she said and hung up the phone.  
And Devi sat in her darkened house, too depressed to turn on a light, yet trembling because the night was dark.  
  
-Gaz-  
  
Gaz sat at home, playing her GS2 like usual. The fact that her brother walked through the door barely registered in her mind until he smacked the GS2 out of her hands. She stood up and punched him right in the nose.  
"Argh!" he yelled, holding his nose, blood on his fingers. "You bitch what did you do that for?!"  
"Language, Dib, don't go poisoning my mind with your cussing." Gaz pointed at her Game Slave. "Get. It. Now."  
Dib glared at her, but got it like the obedient little slave he is. When Gaz had it back in her hands, she asked, "Why did you smack it away, anyway?"  
"'Cause I needed to talk to you," he said.  
"'Bout . . . ?"  
"About Zim."  
Gaz made a disgusted noise. "Dib, give it up. He's not going to destroy the world. I bet you money he can't even tie his own shoes!"  
"Oh, and he has his robot parents do that, does he?"  
"Sure," Gaz said with a shrug.  
"Gaz!" Dib yelled. "Will you stop being so impossible and just LISTEN to me?! Take something I say SERIOUSLY?! Or will you forever be an immature tomboy, too obsessed with video games to listen to peoples opinions and pay attention in the real world?!"  
"Yup," Gaz said, not paying attention to him, too engrossed in her game.  
"What the hell are you playing anyway?"  
"Revenge of the Moose."  
"And what kind of game is THAT?"  
"It's about a moose," Gaz said through gritted teeth.  
"I gathered that," Dib spat. He grabbed the Game Slave and looked at it. There was a moose right there, no doubt about that, and it was running through a forest, trying to get away from werewolves or something. Just as he was looking at it, the werewolves got the moose and ripped it to shreds. It was pretty graphic.  
"HEY!" Gaz yelled. "THAT WAS MY LAST LIFE! You must die now." She took a knife from her back pocket.  
"WHOA! HOLD ON!" Dib yelled and he jumped backwards. "What's that knife for? Why do you have it in your back pocket?"  
Her eyes narrowed. "Dad didn't tell you?"  
"No."  
"Good. I told him not to, but I thought he would anyway. Give me back the GS, and I'll spare your life. This once."  
Dib held it behind his back. "First answer me one thing."  
"What?" she asked, her eyes shining with hatred.  
"Do you even care that Zim might take over the world? Do you even CARE that we're the world's only chance for survival? Don't you even CARE about ANY of my interests? After all, I AM your brother."  
Gaz sighed and grabbed her Game Slave. "Dib, I care. It's not that I don't care. It's the fact that you are a doer. I'm a thinker. And a gamer. You are the one that we need if everyone is going to survive. I'm just going along for the ride. And, I guess, for moral support." She started to leave the room. "I'm going to my room now. Don't bother me."  
Gaz went to her room and sat on her bed. She sighed, and returned to playing the game. She knew that Dib would find out soon enough about why she was carrying a knife around, but she didn't want to be the one to tell him. He was too young to know, Gaz thought. Never mind that he was older then her. Even she was too young to know. She didn't know how she was going to handle it.  
Her eyes blurred with tears, and she lost sight for that one crucial second. When she looked back at the game, the moose was dead.  
  
-Tess-  
  
Tess was at home, putting The Crow into her VCR. "Poor Brandon Lee," she thought. "He was cool until he died." There was a knock on the door. "Must be Katrina," Tess said to herself. She and her friend were going to have a Crow movie marathon, watching all Crow movies in a row. When Tess went to the door, Katrina wasn't standing there. She let out a scream of terror, before everything went black.  
  
Tess woke up on a strangers couch. A girl was sitting next to her, looking her over with worried eyes.  
"Oh good she's waking up. God, Nny, next time why don't you KILL her?"  
A sad voice that Tess recognized replied, "Don't joke about things like that."  
"Sorry," the girl said, looking both sympathetic and revolted at the same time. "Anyway," the girl was looking right at Tess now, "how are you? Any lasting damage?"  
Tess sat up. HE was sitting there, that one guy Tess wanted to never meet again. She wasn't in any pain, except she WAS a bit dizzy.  
"Tess," HE said, "I haven't seen you in so long. Sorry I had to kidnap you and all . . . but it was necessary."  
"Why bother apologize? You didn't apologize for kidnapping me the FIRST time."  
HE sighed. "I was under the influence of the thing in the wall."  
Tess felt herself pale. The girl looked at her curiously. "Don't talk about . . . the THING." She said.  
"So there really is a thing?!" The girl asked, eyes wide.  
Tess sighed. "Did you bring me to convince this girl of what happened?"  
HE nodded.  
"Okay then. First off, I want names. I want to KNOW who I'm talking to."  
"Sorry," HE said. "My name is Johnny, but you can call me Nny for short. This here is Devi."  
Devi tried to smile. You had to give her that much.  
"Fine then. What do you want to know about?"  
"Tell Devi what happened after you escaped."  
"Well, Kirk and I-"  
"So that dick's name was Kirk?" Nny asked.  
"Yeah, dick's DEFIANTLY the right word to describe Kirk. Well, anyway, yes, Kirk was his name. Well, we ran away from that . . . THING and we lost it when we saw two walking Styrofoam doughboys. They could actually talk and move! Well, they COULD, before the THING ripped them to shreds. Then we got to the room with Nny in it and Kirk tried to kill him . . . I thought he DID kill you! I mean, you didn't have a heartbeat. . . ."  
"Oh, Kirk did kill me, you're right about that."  
"Isn't his apt?" Tess asked the ceiling. "Instead of me seeing all Crow movies back to back, I get to REALLY meet someone who has their own crow. Where is yours? I don't see it on your shoulder." She was only being half sarcastic. In truth, Tess was much more creped out then she let on.  
Nny smiled. "I don't think that a crow is needed to come back. Besides, I am as mortal as you." He got an odd look on his face. "Or am I? . . . It would explain a lot. Why I won't die . . . why I won't get caught. . . ." He looked at Tess. "Do you really believe that crow superstition?"  
"Whoa, clue me in," Devi said. "I've never seen The Crow."  
Tess and Nny stared at her. "You sinner," Nny said.  
"The Crow is about this guy who was killed. He and his girlfriend. His girlfriend was raped before she was killed, and a year later he comes back from the dead to avenge her death, and kill the guys who raped her. There's an old legend that states that when someone dies, a crow takes his or her spirit to their next life or heaven or hell or whatever. But if something horrible has happened to them, the crow brings their spirit back to their body and they're allowed to avenge it. The spirit cannot be hurt, so long as the crow is not damaged. If the crow dies, the spirit is mortal again."  
"Understood," Devi said. "So you think that Nny is only here to avenge something?"  
"It would make sense," Nny said, excitedly. "That must be it! That's why I can't be hurt!"  
"Okay," Devi said, "take it from the beginning. Tess, go on explaining."  
"Alright," Tess said, taking up the narrative again. "So, anyway, Nny died, then the THING ripped Kirk in half and I leaned out over the edge of the door and saw . . . nothing. Kirk and the THING actually FELL into oblivion! To this day I have no clue what happened to them."  
"How did you get out?" Devi asked.  
"I don't know. It was all so crazy that I guess I fainted, because next thing I knew, I was on the ground and the world was back. Nny was dead on the floor, I checked for a heartbeat, he didn't have one, so I just ran from the house and never wanted to go back. I never wanted to see it again." She looked at Nny. "You neither."  
"Thanks for making me the center of your thoughts," Nny said sarcastically. "Do you believe me yet, Devi?"  
Devi sighed. "I don't know what to believe. I guess this is as good a thing as any."  
"So you forgive me?!"  
"Shit no," Devi said, giving Nny a disgusted look.  
"What he do to you?" Tess asked.  
"Tried to kill me."  
"You, too? Join the club, honey."  
"Hey, I'm better now," Johnny insisted. The girls exchanged a look. "I swear!"  
"Sorry, Nny, but I bet you can understand why we're not taking your word for it," Tess said.  
Nny sighed. He got off the couch and onto his knees. "Devi, please, will you call me?" He begged, hands clasped.  
She looked around nervously. "Alright . . . I call you tomorrow . . . okay?"  
"You can call me whenever you want, I will always be available. Do you want me to go now?"  
Devi nodded. "Yes. Please do."  
Nny picked himself up and left the house. Devi turned to Tess.  
"So," she said, a sly grin creeping over her face, "isn't he way cute for a killer?"  
  
chapter two is underway. read & review, please 


	2. Coinsidences

-Squee-  
  
"Todd? TODD!" The teacher yelled. Squee jumped. "What are you so absorbed in?" The teacher's name was Mr. Martinez, and he was cold and unforgiving.  
  
Squee, shaking, showed the teacher the story he was writing. It had a picture drawn to go along with it – a picture of a little boy quite like himself, but with wings, flying with angel-looking creatures.  
  
"Creative," the teacher said. Squee smiled. "But class is no time for thinking. You should listen, and memorize the proper fact required to go ahead in your education. Now, for you're stupidity, you must memorize the names of students who borrowed this book in the past, and the years issued. You will be quizzed on it, tomorrow. Don't forget." Mr. Martinez then walked to the front of the classroom and droned on about something useless in later life. Squee allowed his mind to wander, plotting his newly forming story. Finally, the lunch bell rang, and Squee ran as fast as his small legs could take him to the cafeteria.  
  
He got in the lunch line and got some meatloaf. It wiggled unhealthily. Squee barely had time to wonder if it was actual food or just a food-like substance that the school board decided to feed them to cut back on budget, when he noticed someone waving at him franticly from a table. Squee recognized him by his overly large head. It was Dib.  
  
Squee looked at him cautiously, then walked toward the table and put his plate down next to Dib. Across from him, a girl with purple hair played with a Game Slave 2. "Wow," Squee said, and leaned forward to watch her over her shoulder.  
  
"What do you want?" the girl asked through gritted teeth.  
  
"You're good at video games," Squee said, his eyes wide, watching her play. "Much better then me. Daddy says I have bad hand-eye coordination, whatever that means. He also says that when if I ever play video games I should play them in the dark. He said it would make my eyes better."  
  
Even Gaz paused her game and looked at the boy with sympathy. Dib chose to say something, though. "No, Squee, that puts a strain on your eyes and makes it hard to see."  
  
"Oh," Squee said, and went back to looking over Gaz's shoulder. "Keep playing," he urged, "I like watching."  
  
Gaz grinned, actually taking a liking to this boy, for the first time in her life. She held out her hand. "My name is Gaz," she said. Squee took her hand and shook it.  
  
"I'm Squee."  
  
"Welcome to hell," Gaz said, "a.k.a. Skool." She un-paused the game and was instantly absorbed in the flashing lights and computer-sounding hum.  
  
-Dib-  
  
Dib looked at his sister with admiring. He was glad that Gaz was being nice to the poor boy sitting next to him. Gaz didn't like too many people and sometimes she was downright violent. But there was something about this boy. Something about this strange, mysterious, sensitive little boy. . . .  
  
The bell rang, jolting Dib's senses. He noticed he had barely taken a bite of his food, but he didn't care. The food wasn't exactly food. He stared at his spaghetti and ketchup, trying to remember when the Skool's budget wasn't enough to buy the sauce, and sighed. He threw it in the trash, advising Squee to do the same. Squee, even though he hadn't a bite to eat, heeded Dib's advice.  
  
Class was a living hell for Dib. He sat there, doodling, with Miss Bitters droning on in the background. He studied his picture through one squinted eye. Zim, his decapitated head screaming, stared back at him. Then, suddenly, he heard his name called.  
  
"Dib," Miss Bitters was saying, "Dib, you're wanted in the office." When Dib looked around the classroom he noticed, with predictability, that Zim's chair was empty. Despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, he put a determined look on his face, hoping that would help change his feelings. He left the classroom and walked down the long hallway heading toward the office.  
  
He opened the door to the office, and noticed that the secretary who was sitting there was a different one then usual. He also noticed the sparks she made when she moved. Obviously yet another atrocious robot made by Zim. "Right i-in there l-little boy." The robot stuttered horribly. It pointed toward a door, which Dib promptly walked through. Zim was, of course, standing in there, facing opposite Dib, his hands folded behind his back.  
  
"What do you want THIS time, Zim?" Dib asked, trying to sound exasperated and managing to keep the tremor out of his voice.  
  
"I want what I have always wanted." Zim said, turning around. "World domination," he whispered. He then faced Dib. "But one person has told me all which I need to know in order to take over this filthy, stinking planet. You do realize that no matter what you do, Earth is doomed, don't you?"  
  
"Not if I stop you."  
  
Zim smiled. "Such a cocky Earth worm baby you are. But I mean even if you DO stop me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
With a sudden movement, Zim jumped up and landed on top of the principals desk, his legs bent and one arm balancing him, much like what he once did in Bloaty's Pizza Hog.  
  
"Even if you stop me, the human race is doomed. Doomed because of their own stupidity and shallowness. No matter what either of us do, this planet is done for."  
  
"Is that what you called me in here to say? That we're doomed?"  
  
Zim jumped from the desk and stood right in front of Dib, facing him. "Yes." He said. "Exactly."  
  
-Gir-  
  
Zim strode through the front door of his house. "Welcome home, son." He walked toward the TV, where he found Gir sitting, right in front of it, barely an inch from the eye of a character on Enemies, a very popular show that Gir recently got hooked on.  
  
"Gir!" Zim cried. Gir stood up and saluted.  
  
"Yes, master!" His eyes turned back to blue and he sad down with his tongue sticking happily out of a corner of his mouth as he watched the people on TV argue about a chicken. Zim sauntered to the back of the TV and unplugged it. Gir, watching the television seemingly implode in on itself, became absorbed watching the black screen.  
  
"I love this show," he said absentmindedly, not moving his eyes from the blackness, waiting intently for something to happen.  
  
"GIR!" Zim yelled.  
  
"Yeees?"  
  
"Pay attention!" Zim then started rambling on about something Gir wasn't concerned about. Really, who CARES about Earth, Dib, chicken noodle soup, new plans, dancing guacamole, and world domination? Gir turned his attention back to the television, his tongue slipping out yet again and scrunching his face up in happiness making a squeaky noise.  
  
Zim, forgetting he was talking to Gir, let the room, muttering to himself about the same thing he was telling to Gir.  
  
After awhile, the show Gir was watching got boring. There we no hot romances, no weddings, no cheating, no fighting, no cuddle dogs, no robbers, no chocolate cakes and no fun. He jumped up and put on his dog suit. Gir was going for a walk.  
  
He ran out the door and squeaked down the street. He wanted tacos! Oh, how he wanted the tacos! But there was one problem. He didn't know the way to the closest Taco Hell! Oh, Gir's stomach rumbled in despair while he tried to think up a way out of the situation. Wait, he knew what he could do! He would ask the next person he saw, yes!  
  
Picking up his pace, Gir did a little jig while trying to find someone. But, alas, nobody on the street was any smarter then Zim, which meant none of them would know the way to Taco Hell, of that Gir was sure. He passed a guy in a suit talking nervously into a cell phone. "Have them buy," he was saying. "Buy!" Surely that man didn't know anything. He saw a group of younger people up the street discussing a meeting they had with a group called Nation Honors Society. They didn't look very smart, either. Then there was that woman over there . . . her with her strange blue uniform, standing in the middle of the street. A car was coming. She was going to get hit! Yet the car stopped when she held out a hand, then moved when she motioned to it. How silly of her, she would get killed in no time! Gir was immensely disappointed in the people in this town.  
  
Finally, he found what he was looking for! "Hello!" He greeted the rigid, silver being who looked of immense intelligence. "Can you tell me to get to Taco Hell?"  
  
The telephone pole, being inanimate, stayed silent.  
  
Gir's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you," he whispered. "I love you." He gave the pole a long hug (in which tears fell noisily from his eyes) and ran off down the street screaming.  
  
After an hour of wandering around aimlessly in every direction, he found it. Taco Hell! Just as the pole promised! Gir ran forward toward the building. He observed as a human walked toward the door when it all of a sudden opened FOR him. It was like magic! Gir ran forward for his own turn. He was running so fast he didn't watch where he was going and all of a sudden. . . . SMACK! Gir stumbled back, but still stayed standing. Alas, he had hit the door.  
  
What a predicament he was in! "Blast!" He wailed. "How, oh how, can I trick this door into letting me in!"  
  
A human then walked up behind Gir. "Aw," she said, "what a cute little puppy. Do you wanna go in here?"  
  
"Yes!" Gir exclaimed, crunching his face up in happiness again.  
  
"Sorry, honey, but lookie here." She pointed to a sign on the door. NO DOGS it said. Gir's mouth hung open in disbelief. "Go on home, honey," the woman said, "get a nice dinner there." She then walked into the restaurant.  
  
Gir couldn't believe it. He had been foiled! "Earth must DIE!" He shouted, then went to find his way back home.  
  
-Johnny-  
  
Noodle Boy stood on the street corner, screaming. "EGGS! EGGS! I AM ORGANIC!" He pointed to a dog and screamed loudly that it should quack like the good little biscuit it was. Then a bus ran him over. Johnny, stretching, closed his eyes for a minute. He was already out of ideas, and he had only drawn two rows of pannels! It was going to be a long night.  
  
Deciding to do something completely out of the ordinary, he put on his boots, grabbed his wallet, and decided to go for a walk. It was a chilly autumn day, and Nny wished he had brought a coat. Oh, no matter. He could go cold, it wouldn't kill him.  
  
Walking through town proved to be an experience, indeed. He got to see old people walking slowly, teenage girls parading around in short skits, teenage boys watching them, little kids crying because they wanted that toy and they were so frigging spoiled, and adults smiling to one another in that galling way and asking each other if that display of horrendousness wasn't 'cute'. Yes, Johnny wanted to say, it WASN'T cute. It was horrible, unfathomable, unmentionable! He had to get home. He didn't know why he bothered to come out here anyway. But just as he turned around to head back to his house, he spotted an intriguing-looking place. He didn't know how he missed it the first time. The zany architecture and crazy lights flashing outside made it a tad hard to overlook.  
  
Walking up to it, he saw a short line of people and two bouncers. Ugh, Johnny thought, a nightclub. He turned around to leave, but then heard something odd. It was a screeching sound, like an angry cheerleader. He turned around just in time to see a bouncer refusing to let a group of the short-skit clones admittance. He grinned, and decided to get in line after all. Hey, he thought, who knows? This might be my kind of club. He waited a few minutes, then got to the front of the line. The bouncers, even thought he noticed there were broad and tall, had spiked hair and eyeliner on with an eyebrow ring in one of their eyebrows. The other had a pierced lip. They, to Johnny's great astonishment, stepped aside and let him in. Looking around, he found an empty table and sat down. The club was full of people like him, people who dressed the same way. The "freaks" of the world. His new town was full of them! Grinning, Johnny listened to the not-bad music and nodded his head to the beat, looking around.  
  
He saw girls with pigtails, or short hair, or none at all, with black lipstick, purple or black eye shadow and big Egyptian flourishes around their eyes with eyeliner. He saw guys wearing dresses, or all black, also with eyeliner dancing away with the girls, looking happy and tough at the same time. Johnny wanted to be a part of it, wanted to find one in the crowd who he could sit with, just for the night. All anti-social tendencies flew from his body in that one second, and he stood up to find someone nice. Then, horrified at himself, he sat back down. He shook his head, making all the stupid thoughts fly out of it. It was amazing he got in there at all, why ruin it by making an idiot of himself on the dance floor? Or by introducing himself to some complete asshole? If anyone wanted to talk to him, he'd be there sitting, he was sure of it. They could come over and say something if they wanted, he wasn't about to jump head first into any kind of human interaction at this point in time, that he was certain of.  
  
-Anne-  
  
"Hey," Anne Gwish said to her friend, Lisa. "Check out that idiot over there. He thinks he's so cool; he's got those teenyboppers dancing all around him. Can't he tell they're only, like, eleven?"  
  
"Anne," Lisa said, "that one right there is my little sister's best friend. She's nineteen. And the others are the same age as her."  
  
Anne rolled her eyes. "Still, he has to be at LEAST twenty five." Her friend nodded her head vigorously in agreement.  
  
"Definetly a moron," Lisa added, "thinking he can be cool by putting on some fake piercings and hanging out with the spooky ones." The two girls laughed.  
  
"Yea, that nose stud is COMPLETELY fake!" Anne exclaimed. She loved going to clubs and degrading those around her. It made her feel good about herself, the fact that she was pointing out their faults and not vice- versa. And if they WERE pointing out her faults, they could go to hell. She hated people who judged others on their looks. All in all, she was a complete hypocrite.  
  
"Look at that guy," Lisa whispered. "He looks cool."  
  
Anne snorted. "No way. He looks like he just rolled in off the street."  
  
"I like the rugged look," Lisa argued. "I'm going to go talk to him." She stood up and walked over to the guy in question. "Hi," she said, pulling up a chair next to him. "I'm Lisa."  
  
"And I'm Anne." A voice said behind her. "Anne Gwish." Lisa smirked, not letting Anne see. She knew Anne couldn't stand being left out or letting a friend get a guy and knew she would follow. Anne pulled up a chair beside her friend.  
  
"I'm Johnny," the guy said, looking at them with great interest. Anne caught Lisa's eye and rolled her own.  
  
"What, you've never seen to gorgeous girls before?" Anne asked.  
  
"No," Johnny said, "it's just that I've never seen a preppy hidden so cleverly in a Goth girls clothes and not look awkward."  
  
Lisa burst out laughing. "He's got you there, Anne!" She howled.  
  
Anne got up in a huff and left the table to go to the dance floor and danced her heart out. She'd show that skinny boy who was the prep in Goth's clothes. She'd LOVE to see a prep dance as well as she could. When she looked back over at the table, though, she saw that Johnny and Lisa were laughing. Johnny was also looking right at her. They were laughing at HER. Well, she'd show them!  
  
Anne pushed the guy next to her, who in turn pushed her back and then, little by little; she formed a mosh pit in the middle of the dance floor. She'd LOVE to see a prep make a mosh as expertly as she. But when she looked at Lisa and Johnny she saw they were no longer listening to her. Her "friend" had her back to her and was nodding at something Johnny said. Johnny's eyes stayed on Lisa, filled with good humor. Anne got her stuff and left the club. If she wasn't the center of attention, then she could WALK home. Lisa would have to find someone else to leave with so she wouldn't look stupid. What an idiot, treating her friend like that. She'd have to suffer the consequence of looking not cool.  
  
Anne didn't even stop to think that she lived four miles away from the club and didn't believe in cabbies. If she needed a ride home she would only ride with someone who spoke fluent English. As she walked, it started to rain. It didn't only rain, it poured all over her head. Her elaborate makeup was starting to run. Anne started jogging across a street to get inside to the 24/7, but on the way, she slipped and fell smack in a puddle. Cold and shivering, she walked to the door, only to see a sign. "Back at 9:30" it said. She looked at her watch. 11:49. Great. It was obvious that the owner wasn't coming back anytime soon. Anne was miles away from home with no ride, no friends to get a ride from, and no extra hairspray to fix the atrocious mess that was once her perfectly situated hair. She narrowed her eyes. She was stranded.  
  
-Devi-  
  
She was at her house with, amazingly enough, Tess, the odd girl who Nny had kidnapped. The night before they stayed up late discussing what went on with Johnny. Tess had agreed that Nny was too cute to be a killer. Life sucked. Only the ugly ones seemed worthy to date. Not that it was a big problem, but Devi wouldn't mind it if her next boyfriend was really cute and NICE instead of really cute and psycho, or really ugly but perfect for her. That is, if she was going to HAVE a new boyfriend, which was looking less and less likely as the days passed. Tess and her shared a sort of bond, what with the traumatic experiences in their lives, and the one day together they exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch. Sure enough, Devi found herself calling Tess the next night and asking her to come over, bringing The Crow so she can see what the fuss was all about.  
  
Tess popped the tape in the VCR, Devi finished making the popcorn and brought in a few Pepsis and plunked herself down on the couch next to her new friend. The movie proved to be captivating and extraordinary and sad all at once. Devi, although she was normally a comedy girl, liked it. She and Tess spent quite some time discussing it after it was over, and Devi found herself really liking the girl.  
  
"Oh jeez," Tess said, looking up after a while of talking. "It's two AM. I hate driving home this late at night, what with all the drunks and stuff."  
  
"You can stay over," Devi found herself volunteering. "I have an extra bedroom."  
  
Tess nodded. "Sounds cool." She then grinned. "Slumber party. When do we get to play truth or dare?"  
  
"Why, right now of course. I ask first. Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare."  
  
"I dare you to stop playing this game." Tess threw a pillow at her. After they calmed down a bit, there was a bit of silence. Devi was lying down on her back on the couch, Tess sitting cross-legged on the floor.  
  
"Tess?" Devi asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Would you think I was a stupid idiot, not to mention a horrible person, if I took Nny back?"  
  
Tess thought. "Actually, now that you've asked me, I think you'd be horrible if you DIDN'T let him back."  
  
Devi rolled over and let her arm and head hang off the side of the couch. "And why is that?"  
  
"You obviously like the guy," Tess said, looking at Devi thoughtfully. "He obviously means something to you."  
  
"How is it so obvious?"  
  
"You're thinking of taking him back. I think THAT is the biggest clue any girl can give."  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"Then why did you ask me about it?" Tess grinned smugly. "You should give him a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes."  
  
Devi sighed and rolled to her back again, then sat up. "But he tried to KILL me. It's not as if I caught him necking with another girl while we were going steady. We weren't EVEN going steady! Or it's not like he chews with his mouth open or something. He tried to KILL me! It's not a simple mistake!"  
  
"Or was it?"  
  
Devi raised an eyebrow in Tess's general direction.  
  
"Was it just a mistake?"  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
"He was a sick guy, Devi. You saw the healthy side of him when you went on that date. Now, that sickness seems to have been cured. I think he's better. He seems completely aware of what's going on and he seems MUCH more stable then last time I saw him, eyes darting around, making quick movements, always looking over his shoulder, watching his own back, not trusting anyone else to do that for him. Don't you want to give that healthy, funny, fascinating guy another chance to get to your heart?"  
  
Devi grinned, shaking her head. "Fine then, fairy godmother, I'll give Prince Charming a second try. But this time, he better not make me run away at midnight."  
  
"Not to worry, Cinderella," Tess said. "Just find out the date for the ball." 


End file.
